I remember hearing so many times – you first need to love yourself only then you love someone else. First, you need to help yourself only then you can help others. But loving myself? It felt so unnatural. In my mind loving myself was connected to being selfish and it just felt – I don’t know – not right to me. It felt like something I didn’t want to deal with. Something that was not on the priority list.
By doing this I sabotaged my confidence. It wasn’t until I met my coach Olga, who I already mentioned in the previous episodes and who really gave my life a perspective, when I realized that by not loving myself and by treating myself too strictly I stop myself from everything I want from my life. Just a simple example. I used to set unrealistic goals. I thought that if others can do it, I must be able to do it as well.
Then, I didn’t reach the goal for obvious reasons like the one that you can’t work 16 hours a day and still be creative and productive. Or that you have family and you have to take care of members of your family. Or that you get sick and then you simply can’t work. I was mad at myself – for spending time with family and not spending time with family when I was working. For being sick. For almost everything.
IN THIS EPISODE:
By learning to love yourself you learn how to be your best friend – the one you can trust and rely on, the one that supports you no matter what, the one that is for life. And believe me, every one of us needs a friend like that.
Realize that you’re as important, special and worthy as every other human being on earth. Connect deeply with this reality. Use this as an affirmation: “I am important, special and worthy.”
Try saying the affirmation out loud. Repeat it. Write it down. Then, read it to yourself. Do this twice per day, once in the morning and once in the evening. Watch for subtle shifts in the way you view yourself.
Often, we try to find external reasons for why something happened, such as, “Why does he keep hurting me?” or, “What makes him think I deserve this treatment?”
Instead, take responsibility. Ask yourself, “Since I’m responsible for myself, what do I need to do right now to change this situation for me?”
Take a little time in the morning to do something you really like to do. It might be 45 minutes of yoga to start your day off right. Maybe you’d like to read your favorite novel for 15 minutes before the kids get up.
Or perhaps 10 minutes to practice meditation would give you the restful start you need to have a good day.
Give yourself the gift of the first few minutes of each morning. Your whole day will be better, and your soul will thank you for that little bit of “me time” when you first arise.
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