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Episode 10: Learn to Love Yourself – Part 2

By |2019-09-10T21:13:26+02:00September 10th, 2019|PODCAST|

 

Hey there, friends. Welcome to part 2 of learning to love yourself. In the previous episode last week, we were talking about loving yourself emotionally and spiritually and I shared my struggle with loving myself. If you haven’t listened to the episode last week go back to it right now – it’s better to start there and then continue with this episode.

In this episode, we will talk about loving yourself mentally and physically. We will add another 19 steps to those 20 from part 1. Together you will have 39 steps to apply in order to love yourself, but no worries some of them are very simple, some of them you already do and of course, you don’t need to apply all of them since day one. Start with the one you like and once it feels natural, add a second one. Small changes that will stick are much better than big changes that are overwhelming and you drop them early.

 

IN THIS EPISODE:

 

When you spend your time and thoughts on working toward your goals, your mind will be at its happiest and most fit. Plus, this sort of work shows that you care enough about yourself to have your priorities in good order.

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Ask yourself, “What do I care intensely about?”

Then, dive into that subject. Learn everything you can about it. Practice it. Study it. Live it. If an idea or topic excites you, chase after it. The same goes for your dreams. Once you know what your hearts’ desires are, do everything you can to achieve them.

Stay engaged on a daily basis with your life’s passions and dreams. There’s no better way to express self-love than to strive to give yourself what you truly want in life.

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When you live intentionally, you intellectually consider the consequences of the choices you make. You recognize how precious time is and mindfully spend the twenty-four hours you get in a day on what’s most important to you. Now that’s real self-love.

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When you see that you have control over your own mind, you’ll be provided with opportunities to do as you wish with your life. In other words, you’ll get to exercise the power you have in ways that enrich your existence.

Closely related to finding your power is infusing knowledge into your daily life. When you gain knowledge, you gain power. Accessing the power you have in your mind means you’ll experience self-confidence and feel love for yourself each day.

Loving yourself means you seek, find and experience all types of mental stimulation. You look into topics of interest, maintain real friendships with real people, live consciously each day, consider the bigger picture, and find the power within you.

Express your self-love by feeding your mind with intriguing thoughts, ideas, and activities.

 

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Episode 9: Learn to Love Yourself – Part 1

By |2019-09-03T14:01:39+02:00September 3rd, 2019|PODCAST|

 

I remember hearing so many times – you first need to love yourself only then you love someone else. First, you need to help yourself only then you can help others. But loving myself? It felt so unnatural. In my mind loving myself was connected to being selfish and it just felt – I don’t know – not right to me. It felt like something I didn’t want to deal with. Something that was not on the priority list.

By doing this I sabotaged my confidence. It wasn’t until I met my coach Olga, who I already mentioned in the previous episodes and who really gave my life a perspective, when I realized that by not loving myself and by treating myself too strictly I stop myself from everything I want from my life. Just a simple example. I used to set unrealistic goals. I thought that if others can do it, I must be able to do it as well.

Then, I didn’t reach the goal for obvious reasons like the one that you can’t work 16 hours a day and still be creative and productive. Or that you have family and you have to take care of members of your family. Or that you get sick and then you simply can’t work. I was mad at myself – for spending time with family and not spending time with family when I was working. For being sick. For almost everything.

 

IN THIS EPISODE:

 

By learning to love yourself you learn how to be your best friend – the one you can trust and rely on, the one that supports you no matter what, the one that is for life. And believe me, every one of us needs a friend like that.

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Realize that you’re as important, special and worthy as every other human being on earth. Connect deeply with this reality. Use this as an affirmation: “I am important, special and worthy.”

Try saying the affirmation out loud. Repeat it. Write it down. Then, read it to yourself. Do this twice per day, once in the morning and once in the evening. Watch for subtle shifts in the way you view yourself.

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Often, we try to find external reasons for why something happened, such as, “Why does he keep hurting me?” or, “What makes him think I deserve this treatment?”

Instead, take responsibility. Ask yourself, “Since I’m responsible for myself, what do I need to do right now to change this situation for me?”

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Take a little time in the morning to do something you really like to do. It might be 45 minutes of yoga to start your day off right. Maybe you’d like to read your favorite novel for 15 minutes before the kids get up.

Or perhaps 10 minutes to practice meditation would give you the restful start you need to have a good day.

Give yourself the gift of the first few minutes of each morning. Your whole day will be better, and your soul will thank you for that little bit of “me time” when you first arise.

 

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Episode 8: 13 Steps to Stop Self-Sabotage

By |2019-08-28T20:52:59+02:00August 28th, 2019|PODCAST|

 

Last Tuesday I came home in the evening, sat down in our dining room and started thinking. Something is not right wih me. I woke up at 4:30 a.m. that day to cook turkey breast with vegetable for my lunch. Because I didn’t have the time the day before.

This would be great. But during the day, I couldn’t resist and went buy myself a chocolate bar. I know I can’t do that because my body produces too much insulin and it can be dangerous for me. It also makes me sick to my stomach. But as I’ve said I couldn’t resist and bought one for myself and ate it right away.

Sitting there exhausted from the early morning cooking and stomach cramps I realized that it was completely useless to get up at 4:30 a.m. and cook for myself if I was going to eat a chocolate bar. I could rather sleep until 5:30 and then get lunch somewhere. That would be less of a health problem for me. Or I could get up at 4:30 a.m. cook for myself, be proud of myself for taking the effort and not eating any chocolate bar or anything like that.

But I took the effort but then made a wrong decision.

I know how this is called.

Self-sabotage.

I realized that after everything I went through, I still sabotage myself on some occasions.

Luckily, I know that overcoming self-sabotaging behavior is one of the key elements to building confidence and success so a whole part of Your Jaw-Dropping Confidence Master Plan is about that.

And I want to share a part of it today.

Because it’s needed.

And because I need revising as well.

 

IN THIS EPISODE:

 

…self-sabotage is complicated because there’s usually some element of temporary relief, short-term payoff, or avoidance of something negative initially in the process.

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Self-sabotage becomes easier over time.

Self-defeating behaviors cause unintended consequences.

Any positive results of self-sabotage are short-term.

Regular self-sabotage drastically alters your life.

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1.Acknowledge that you engage in self-sabotage.

The first, very important step is to admit to yourself that you have a challenge before you can do anything to change it.

2. Write out how you self-sabotage.

This exercise will feel like you’re cleaning out the clutter of a closet, only it’s your mind and emotions you’re sorting through instead. Keep thinking and writing until you’ve listed all the ways you engage in self-defeating behaviors. 

Next, put down specific incidents where you recognize that your thoughts, choices, or behaviors were self-defeating. Go back for at least the last year or two.

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Rather than put yourself down, give yourself some props for making it this far and for recognizing your self-defeating ways. Keep reminding yourself that

you’re letting go of the old style of living where you lacked confidence and determination. Make a decision to believe in yourself again.

 

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Episode 7: I Am Not Enough and Other Lies You Tell Yourself

By |2019-08-20T15:36:16+02:00August 20th, 2019|PODCAST|

 

I understand, that self-critical thoughts can be overwhelming. They can consume your day and make it difficult to focus on anything else, but these negative thoughts can harm you in multiple ways. Self-criticism can be an ongoing dialogue inside your head. Most of the thoughts focus on flaws, whether actual or perceived. Sometimes the thoughts start after a critical comment from another person. In rare cases, self-criticism can be useful. It may increase humbleness and provide a way to evaluate mistakes.

However, most of the time, self-criticism creates unnecessary pain and suffering.

Self-critical thoughts can increase the risk of depression, anxiety, stress, and other mental health issues. They also weaken your self-esteem and confidence.

 

IN THIS EPISODE:

 

…but I’ve seen cases when female gatherings changed to self-pity party. What you say about yourself to your girlfriends is one thing, but what you think about yourself and how you talk to yourself is what matters the most. If you have a bad habit of talking to yourself negatively, sadly enough, you will never be able to build your confidence.

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If you started to think right now – Oh, I’m sabotaging my confidence with negative self-talk, why am I so stupid? Stop right away! This shouldn’t be just another item on your blame list rather a friendly reminder that this is important as well and a few steps how to get back on track. Or at least how to get a little closer to your confident self.

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Let’s start with “I am not enough.” It’s one of the most common self-critical thoughts. How to overcome it? Understand where this negative thought come from. Why do you feel like you are not enough? The first step is to get to the root of this thought.

So, please take a paper and a pen. On the top of a new blank page write I am not enough and examine your feelings. Consider your past. Why do you feel you are never enough? Where do these feelings come from?

In many cases, the roots of this self-critical thought can be found in the past. Dysfunctional families, difficult childhoods, traumas, and illnesses can make you feel less worthy.

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But those are just two, and you may have many different types of self-critical thoughts affecting your confidence. Remember, you are your own unique combination of characteristics, shaped by past and present experiences. This unique identity and history affect the type of self-critical thoughts that are in your head.

 

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Episode 6: Six Common Confidence Myths

By |2019-08-13T21:55:40+02:00August 13th, 2019|PODCAST|

 

I remember when my life coach told me: Silvia, it’s your decision, you can be confident if you want to. You just need to decide.

I felt so frustrated and down. I felt like a failure. I can’t make a move because I don’t have the confidence to do anything. And she was telling me something completely different. I can be confident I just have to decide?

Is it true?

Can it be true?

And then this haunting thought came to my mind.

Only a year later I realized it was one of the very common confidence myths. Actually, one of these myths I’ll be sharing with you today. Let me tell you all of them and in the end, I’ll tell you which one is the one I struggled with. I truly believed it deep in my heart and this belief was shaping who I was back then.

 

IN THIS EPISODE:

 

You can find all these myths and much more in Your Jaw-Dropping Confidence Master Plan that will be released very soon. I will let you know when it is available.

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Experts share that for you to reach the highest levels of success, you need to have confidence first. You can start small and watch it grow over time with new goals being reached.

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You don’t have to be confident every hour of every day.

Your self-esteem will change and fluctuate over time. This is normal and not something to be concerned about.

You may have fears that cripple your confidence on occasion. The key is to work through them and keep going. Feelings of uncertainty and insecurity will happen.

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If you’re focused on others and their success, then you’re not growing yourself. You’re not working on your own issues and challenges to reach higher.

By looking at other lives and contrasting them with yours, you’re feeding your insecurities. It’s also important to remember that you rarely know the full details of another person’s existence.

 

Mentioned in this episode: The Confidence Code

 

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