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So far Silvia has created 75 blog entries.

Episode 7: I Am Not Enough and Other Lies You Tell Yourself

By |2019-08-20T15:36:16+02:00August 20th, 2019|PODCAST|

 

I understand, that self-critical thoughts can be overwhelming. They can consume your day and make it difficult to focus on anything else, but these negative thoughts can harm you in multiple ways. Self-criticism can be an ongoing dialogue inside your head. Most of the thoughts focus on flaws, whether actual or perceived. Sometimes the thoughts start after a critical comment from another person. In rare cases, self-criticism can be useful. It may increase humbleness and provide a way to evaluate mistakes.

However, most of the time, self-criticism creates unnecessary pain and suffering.

Self-critical thoughts can increase the risk of depression, anxiety, stress, and other mental health issues. They also weaken your self-esteem and confidence.

 

IN THIS EPISODE:

 

…but I’ve seen cases when female gatherings changed to self-pity party. What you say about yourself to your girlfriends is one thing, but what you think about yourself and how you talk to yourself is what matters the most. If you have a bad habit of talking to yourself negatively, sadly enough, you will never be able to build your confidence.

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If you started to think right now – Oh, I’m sabotaging my confidence with negative self-talk, why am I so stupid? Stop right away! This shouldn’t be just another item on your blame list rather a friendly reminder that this is important as well and a few steps how to get back on track. Or at least how to get a little closer to your confident self.

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Let’s start with “I am not enough.” It’s one of the most common self-critical thoughts. How to overcome it? Understand where this negative thought come from. Why do you feel like you are not enough? The first step is to get to the root of this thought.

So, please take a paper and a pen. On the top of a new blank page write I am not enough and examine your feelings. Consider your past. Why do you feel you are never enough? Where do these feelings come from?

In many cases, the roots of this self-critical thought can be found in the past. Dysfunctional families, difficult childhoods, traumas, and illnesses can make you feel less worthy.

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But those are just two, and you may have many different types of self-critical thoughts affecting your confidence. Remember, you are your own unique combination of characteristics, shaped by past and present experiences. This unique identity and history affect the type of self-critical thoughts that are in your head.

 

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Episode 6: Six Common Confidence Myths

By |2019-08-13T21:55:40+02:00August 13th, 2019|PODCAST|

 

I remember when my life coach told me: Silvia, it’s your decision, you can be confident if you want to. You just need to decide.

I felt so frustrated and down. I felt like a failure. I can’t make a move because I don’t have the confidence to do anything. And she was telling me something completely different. I can be confident I just have to decide?

Is it true?

Can it be true?

And then this haunting thought came to my mind.

Only a year later I realized it was one of the very common confidence myths. Actually, one of these myths I’ll be sharing with you today. Let me tell you all of them and in the end, I’ll tell you which one is the one I struggled with. I truly believed it deep in my heart and this belief was shaping who I was back then.

 

IN THIS EPISODE:

 

You can find all these myths and much more in Your Jaw-Dropping Confidence Master Plan that will be released very soon. I will let you know when it is available.

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Experts share that for you to reach the highest levels of success, you need to have confidence first. You can start small and watch it grow over time with new goals being reached.

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You don’t have to be confident every hour of every day.

Your self-esteem will change and fluctuate over time. This is normal and not something to be concerned about.

You may have fears that cripple your confidence on occasion. The key is to work through them and keep going. Feelings of uncertainty and insecurity will happen.

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If you’re focused on others and their success, then you’re not growing yourself. You’re not working on your own issues and challenges to reach higher.

By looking at other lives and contrasting them with yours, you’re feeding your insecurities. It’s also important to remember that you rarely know the full details of another person’s existence.

 

Mentioned in this episode: The Confidence Code

 

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Episode 5: Emergency Room Visit and Your Jaw-Dropping Confidence Master Plan

By |2019-08-03T18:06:22+02:00July 30th, 2019|PODCAST|

 

Yesterday I went shopping after lunch. I was in a small and charming shop with all-natural products, nut butter, and eco-friendly cosmetics when suddenly, out of nothing this pain in my upper left abdomen outburst.

It was the fourth time this month. So, nothing new. I told myself – OK, Silvia, you know how it goes, it’s not the first time, just sit down, don’t move and breathe calmly. It will be alright.

I had so much work to do. But it seemed like I was not coming back to my daily routine.

To be very honest I was scared – is it something serious? I didn’t have any problems an hour ago and now it feels like I can’t do anything.

Listen to the this episode to learn more about my Emergency room visit and Your Jaw-Dropping Confidence Master Plan.

 

IN THIS EPISODE:

 

But it wasn’t getting any better. I was sweating. I looked at the time on my phone, minutes were slowly passing by and nothing changed to better – maybe even to worse. I couldn’t move. If I moved slightly, I couldn’t breathe. So, I froze in the same position and didn’t do anything. I focused on my breath.

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For a minute I thought about calling an ambulance, but you know in a situation like this the old me comes to the surface and it tells me – You are not the attention-grabbing-queen. You don’t want everyone in here see the drama. And what if it’s not anything serious? That would be a devastating shame. 

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What is it in us, women, that we fear so much of being judged? Why do we lack confidence so often? Do we have it naturally less than men do?

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Because I don’t want any woman to hold herself back. The consequences could be devastating. Not only when it comes to overall health but also, when it comes to mental health, happiness, success, self-worth, optimism. Confidence has an influence on all aspects of our lives. Confidence needs to be cultivated and the tricky part is that it affects all areas of our life in general as well as particular tasks individually.

 

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Episode 4: The Perfect Female Confidence Solution

By |2019-08-03T18:07:15+02:00July 23rd, 2019|PODCAST|

 

I think I already mentioned that I am creating a 5-day free email mini course called Confident Woman Secrets. If I didn’t mention it yet I will today.

Yes, the name is almost identical with the name of this podcast. And there’s a reason for that. The mini course Confident WOMAN Secrets will help you create your own confidence tools and techniques; it will guide you to find what helps YOU to become and be confident. And you don’t have to tell anybody you are using some tools and techniques or that you are building your confidence.

On the other hand, Confident WOMEN Secrets is the name of the podcast where I want to share with you my own tools and techniques as well as tips of other women – what is helping them, how are they building their confidence and how did they overcome their biggest confidence struggles.

Listen to the third episode to learn more about why I created this mini course, what is included and how it can help you.

 

IN THIS EPISODE:

 

I remember it like was yesterday. Sunny day. 7 a.m. I am cleaning carrots in the kitchen of the insurance company I work for. A colleague of mine came to the kitchen with some fruit. We started to talk. People usually didn’t ask me about coaching, I was a tax specialist who was doing something on the side for them. But this time she did ask.

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Can I boost my confidence through coaching with you? Do you help also with confidence? Can you give me some tips on how to boost my confidence? Do you think he still loves me? Do you think I can make it? Do I have what it takes?

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So, it didn’t take me long before I decided I want to create the perfect program for women to boost their confidence. I wanted to help other women grow, flourish and feel good about themselves. That’s why I started coaching. So, if confidence is the thing, they need I want to help them build it.

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When a man is looking at that position, he reads through it and if he fulfills 60% of the job description, he goes for it. He believes that he will learn the rest along the way. On the other hand, a woman doesn’t apply for that job before she fulfills 100% of the job description. I read in a different article that a woman applies only after she fulfills 120%. Isn’t that crazy it’s double the male percentage. Why is it so?

 

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Episode 3: How I Developed Social Phobia

By |2019-08-03T18:07:51+02:00July 16th, 2019|PODCAST|

 

I was a shy child who was trying to do its best to do everything a good child would do. I studied hard in school. I helped my parents at home. I listened to the elderly. I was not rebellious or stubborn. I studied English and social sciences. I went to University to study law.

I got a part-time job as an assistant to the attorney. I got my first mortgage during the university years for my studio apartment. I traveled to the USA during summers for work and travel program for students. In the last year of University, I started to work for a big advisory company, and I applied for J.D. exam. I was working overtimes and Saturdays and studying and writing my thesis on Sundays.

Shy girl with low self-confidence who didn’t trust in her own choices and opinions.

Within a few months of life in a Chicago studio apartment without seeing my family and friends my confidence dropped to the lowest level possible and I was not able to go shopping alone because I didn’t have enough confidence to face talk with a stranger or a cashier in the supermarket.

I developed social phobia and I had to come up with a plan.

What plan?

Listen to the third episode to learn more.

 

IN THIS EPISODE:

 

I am behind the door, trash bag in my right hand, door handle in my left hand. Left ear on the door, heart beating…

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But, when I think of how I felt. I felt horrible and I didn’t even realize it. I didn’t have the confidence to do what I wanted to do. To be who I am. To speak up my mind. My low self-confidence didn’t allow me to rely on my own opinions. I thought that this how I am supposed to be living and this is who I am.

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One day, out of nothing my very dear friend called. We chatted for a little while and then he said that he has cancer.

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Waiting for my flight back to Chicago I made a promise to myself – that I will do what it takes to become confident in my own life and my skin. That I will no longer be that shy and scared girl hiding in a small apartment.

 

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