We all have our critical inner voices. To prove that, let me ask you a question.
Have you ever been scared of being not enough?
Eight thousand hands flew to air.
I was attending the Unleash the Power Within and this was just one of my aha moments.
I have always been very self-critical. Constantly feeling lame, not good enough, not worthy, not skinny enough, not smart enough, not strong enough.
Simply put. Not enough.
And I thought it’s just me, and it’s me being realistic when I criticized myself for that.
However, here, in the room with 8 000 other people, I realized it’s not just me. Everybody feels not being enough.
But they are enough. It can’t be true that 8 000 people are not enough. At least some of them must be smart enough, strong enough, skinny enough. They just don’t feel that way.
What if I am enough as well?
That day I realized that self-criticism is just slowing down my progress. I would be much more successful if I don’t beat myself up for everything I do since I wake up till I go to sleep.
I might do some things wrong but I might do some good things along the way as well. So why not give them equal value?
Or, can I go even further? Why not give bigger value to the good stuff and only a little value to the bad stuff?
Wouldn’t life be so much better for me and people around me?
The question is how to do it. If you feel my pain and you could handle some tips on how to stop self-criticizing yourself read on.
1. Find Out Why You Criticize Yourself
There is always a reason why you do what you do. Maybe you had a strict parent who was never satisfied and you get used to criticizing yourself as well. Or you are very ambitious and perfectionist and you naturally expect more of you even when delivering great results.
2. Confront Those Critical Inner Voices
OK. So the little voices are telling you that you are not enough? Challenge them. What is the evidence that you are not enough? Can you look at it from a different angle and find the reasons why are you enough?
3. Surround Yourself with Positive and Supportive People
If you are a negativist criticizing yourself every day, you might tend to surround yourself with people who think alike. This is not helping your good mood or confidence. As I said a few times, pick up your friends wisely. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people who will teach you how to look at things differently.
4. Listen to Others
Once you have the right people around you, talk to them. Listen to what they have to say. If they are honest people and good friends they might tell you your weaknesses but they might tell you your strengths as well. They definitely don’t think that you are not enough to be their friends so you might as well be enough in other parts of your life. Ask them.
There are always two sides of a coin. If your critical inner voice is telling you that you are too sensitive, find the reasons why being sensitive is OK. And find the reasons why being sensitive is not only OK but great. Next time when your critical inner voice will shout at you that you are too sensitive you’ll be like: OH, yeah, and you know what’s good about it? 🙂
And what is your critical inner voice telling you? Do you feel like you are not good enough in some situations?