9 Steps to Gain Inner Strength

By |2018-08-15T10:12:09+00:00August 15th, 2018|Self-Acceptance|

Some days are harder than others. Some days you wish you could gain that extra inner strength you are lacking.

I have those days as well. Last Monday, it was a very hard day at work. People were driving me crazy. Many people weren’t keeping the deadlines and as I relied on their data I became behind the deadline as well. Not my fault. Yet, I hate being behind so I was getting crazy.

After work, I met a friend. I thought I will finally have some rest and will talk a bit about my work troubles and after that, we will have some laugh and I will forget about. However, my friend decided he wants to complain about his horrible boss who doesn’t want to give him a raise. I was trying to pay attention the whole time and suggest some ideas. I thought to myself that I just need to gain some inner strength and carry on.

After an hour and a half my friend said he needs to go home soon, but he still has about 10 minutes and he was talking a lot so I should say what’s new in my life.

In 10 minutes? Like, come on!

I just said I’m fine, nothing new in my life and we went home. I was exhausted already when I got home but then I remembered I wanted to write an article for my website.

I crushed into the bed and nothing would get me out. Even though I knew that writing was probably the most important thing for me that day. But I had no inner strength left.

Because of doing everything for others I ended up doing nothing for myself.

Have you ever made such a huge mistake?

Many times, you say? In that case, you might find useful following steps to not repeat this mistake over and over again.

1. Socialize with the Right People

It’s not a surprise that we are becoming negativists when we hang out with negative people. Negativism itself deplete our inner strength. In order to thrive, it is important you hang out with positive and productive people. People who will recharge your batteries, support you and inspire you.

2. Take Control of Your Body

I have already said this multiple times but there’s no strong soul in a weak body. Your physical and mental strength goes hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other.

3. Make Time for Calming Down

This is a biggie as well. Try yoga. Try meditation. Try running. Try anything that will make you shake off the worries, the bad emotions of the day, the negative thoughts, the fears, the self-doubt. I don’t say meditate if you don’t feel like that’s your thing.  Just try something that will lighten your day.

4. Put Yourself First

It’s much easier said than done. But the rule is simple. Exercise when you need to exercise. Go to sleep when you need some rest. Take a break when you need one. Go out with friends when you feel like it. Stay at home when you want to be alone. Just do it because you want to do it. Not because you have a feeling that you should be doing something. Or because your mum says you should be doing something (which very often the same thing).

5. Find Your Why

If you have been on this site for a while you probably already know that I’m all about finding your why – finding your meaning in life. Finding and doing what you love. That makes life much easier and eliminate the frustration from day to day stereotype. It’s much easier to do something (even if you don’t like it) when you know what is the bigger why behind all this. When you know the goal you want to accomplish.

6. Don’t Let Fear Get in Your Way

Fear can be such a huge enemy of progress. As Tim Ferriss has said – most people would choose unhappiness over uncertainty. Uncertainty is simply the fear of what is coming. Fear can block you and stop you from doing anything. Therefore, it is important to identify and name your fears. Inner strength is not about being fearless. It’s about knowing what your fears are and doing what you want to do despite these fears.

7. Don’t Let Yourself Be in Your Way as Well

Another big enemy of your progress and happiness other than fear is you. The negative self-talk. The self-doubt. Emotional eating habits. Low self-esteem. It’s pulling you away from your desired destination. Take it easy. Don’t do yourself what you wouldn’t do to your best friend. Be yourself a best friend. Think positively and don’t be hard on yourself.

8. Find Motivation

Whether it is a motivational talk watched in the morning. Whether it is a person who you admire. Whether it is a public figure that inspires you. Whether it is your bigger why. Always search for something that motives you. There’s no drive without motivation. There are no results without the drive.

9. Remember the Good

Memorize, save, hang positive sentences about yourself, memories, the things you are proud of. Put on a sticky note and put in on your bathroom window, on your fridge. Set a reminder telling you-you are awesome. Surround yourself with the positive thoughts and send that little voice that is telling you that you are not enough to hell.

I hope this help. Do you remember a situation you felt like you have no inner strength at all? And how did you recharge your batteries?

How To Deal With Being Judged By Others

By |2018-08-06T19:21:44+00:00August 7th, 2018|Self-Acceptance|

It was gut-wrenching. She had to think I was crazy. And that was a sick feeling. I hate being judged by others. Because they don’t know me. They don’t know what is going on inside my head and inside my house.

I just emailed her I cried. I was all out. I told her everything. I can’t sleep. I was waiting for the door desperately. I have to use earplugs. I go to bed 2 hours earlier than my boyfriend, which is inconvenient because he wakes me up. And I wake him up in the morning. I wanted that damn door so bad.

However, they didn’t deliver it. After 11 weeks of waiting, our bedroom was without a door. And she judged me. For telling her that I cried. For telling her that I want some money back because they didn’t deliver on time. Even though, I said I don’t want to be too demanding. I wrote the email friendly and explained the situation.

She replied: I will do the maximum to get you the door as soon as possible. But, you know I can’t do anything.

I read: Go f*ck yourself, crazy girl. I’m not doing anything for you.

No apologized made, no reference to money back. I felt her disagreement with my open email.

Am I being weird? Am I being judged for asking for what I am supposed to get anyway?

I hate being judged by others. And it happens often. I give my heart to the conversation and I face a cold denial. Often left with mixed feelings that I was judged for being too open.

Has it ever happened to you?

Being judged by others can trigger many negative feelings such as anger, frustration, sadness, self-doubt, hurt or fear.

The trick is that you can’t change others. They won’t stop judging you. You must change your perception of their judgments.

1. Take the Bird’s Eye View

When we are right in the middle of something we tend to take it too seriously and overreact. Look at things from a perspective. Does it matter for your life what they think or say? And if so, will it matter in a couple of years? I doubt it.

2. Don’t Convince Anybody

They can say or do whatever they like. And so can you. If what they say or think is not the truth, let it be. Remind yourself of the truth, don’t try to change their truth it’s not your job. If it hurts you simply go away. Detach from the situation.

3. Stop Judging Yourself

When you feel insecure about something people will notice and they will ask questions. And if you answer: I don’t know. it might be a stupid idea. I’m quite not sure. it invokes that you judge yourself and allow people around you to be judgmental as well. And believe me, they will. So don’t give them the space to judge you. Be sure about what you do.

When you stand straight and tall and you give a clear explanation of what you want or don’t want. What you do or don’t do. Feeling good about it at the same time. It’s a sign for other people to jerk of and don’t challenge it.

4. The Only Opinion That Matters Is Yours

In relation to the previous point, please, remember that you don’t need anybody’s approval. Even if other people still judge you, it doesn’t hurt you, because you already feel secure and sure about your thing, your opinion, and your positions.

So who are they to tell you better? Who’s opinion is the most important in your life?

Yours. Of course.

5. Forgive

If none of the above helps just forgive the people who judged you. We are all humans. We have bad days. We envy, we judge, we think we know better. And it’s OK because it’s all part of being human. Don’t you judge sometimes, as well?

You will feel lighter and happier when you forgive the judges. Don’t do it for them, do it for yourself.

What’s your worst experience of being judged? And how did you handle it?

6 Steps Method on How to Gain Self Discipline

By |2018-07-30T18:59:48+00:00July 31st, 2018|Self-Acceptance|

There are different ways on how to make your life better. Yet, only one is the most important and will bring you long-term success. Self-discipline. Let’s define it first. Self-discipline is correction or regulation of oneself for the sake of improvement.

We are not naturally born self-disciplined, but it is the most valuable skill for a person’s growth. Take it this way. If you have the self-discipline you can achieve success in all areas of your life such as diet, fitness, career, money, personal growth, relationships.

Although it is not easy to become self-disciplined you can apply a few tweaks to make it more achievable.

1.   Have a Strong Why

Everything is much easier when we have a strong vision that pulls us forward. When you feel like you want to give up or when you lose momentum the only thing that will pick you up from the ground is a strong why.

Why do you want to be self-disciplined? What do you want to accomplish? Why do you want what you want? Those are the questions to be answered to discover your why.

2.   Find a Role Model

Once you have a why find someone in your surroundings or online who has already achieved what you are striving for. Model what that person does in order to be successful. Think of what would she do when facing the obstacles you are facing.

3.   Create a Reward System

Being self-disciplined is a hard work. Would you ask someone else to do it for free? Of course, not. You shouldn’t be doing it for free either. Get yourself some rewards for accomplishing your goals, for being self-disciplined for some amount of time (I would suggest 28 days), for creating a new habit, for being on the track. Don’t go too hard on yourself. If your goals are far in the distance give yourself some mid-term rewards.

4.   Learn to Act Within 5 Seconds

Mel Robbins created a bulletproof technique to win over procrastination, self-doubt, and fear. Start in 5 seconds. She calls it the power of the push moment, or as others would say – just get the ball rolling.

If your goal is to wake up at 5 a.m. every day, get up within 5 seconds since your alarm rings.  If you want to write a book, start writing within 5 seconds you think about it next time.

5.   Eat Healthily

I come back to this often. If you are not eating healthy your blood sugar level drops. You have mood swings. You are prone to binge eating. Your senses weaken. Your concentrations suffer. This is not a way to achieve your goals. More than that, it is making it so much harder to be self-disciplined. To stay focused. To go all in.

You deserve so much more than that piece of cake. You are capable of great things! Don’t make your own body and metabolism be in your way to success.

6.   Move Forward

OK. You didn’t follow through. You didn’t make it. Now it’s time for you to forgive yourself and move forward. Tomorrow is a new day and you can start all over again. Nobody is perfect and blaming yourself won’t help the thing.

When do you struggle to be self-disciplined? What are your main obstacles?

How to Live a Charged Life

By |2018-07-24T18:50:15+00:00July 24th, 2018|Self-Acceptance|

This could only happen to me.
My friend was complaining about her car being scratched on the parking lot.
It is a new car. I only have it for half a year. Why wouldn’t they be more careful? Why do I have to meet only lame people?
She was going on and on. I got tired. I knew she will talk about this accident for months to go until she finds some other thing to be upset about.

I don’t want to underestimate her hardship. However, her car has an insurance, nobody was injured and we live in the capital of Slovakia, for God sake. All of us have scratches. Or, at least, our cars do. Yet not everybody is making such a big deal out of it.
Not everybody?

So whats the difference between people playing victim all the time and those who live a charged life.
Maybe you are somewhere in the middle not living a victimized life not a charged either and you might wonder. How to live a charged life?

Five Actionable Steps to Live the Charged Life

1. Take Responsibility For What Happens to You

There are many reasons to feel victimized and there are many ways how to do it. Life is not easy. It really is very difficult to stand up and continue after being knocked down. Yet, that is the essential decision everyone should make – are you giving up or are you fighting back?

2. Make Your Thoughts Your Friends

If you take nothing else from this article take just this one. Your brain is not designed to make you happy, it is designed to make you survive. Therefore your thoughts are not something like: Hey darling, let’s be happy today.

It’s more like: What did she say? Is she threatening me or is it a joke? Should I fight or run away?

You should realize it is your job to make you happy, your brain will not do it for you. Not because he doesn’t want to but because he doesn’t know how.

3. Take Care of Your Body

You might have heard it many times but it’s the truth and worth repeating. Your body is your temple. You can’t have extraordinary results or fulfilling life if your body is having troubles with digesting what you eat, fatigue, inability to focus, low energy etc. There’s no charged life without strong temple that would shelter your soul.

4. Make Meaningful Social Connections

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent.

A quote that says it all. Without meaningful connection with other people you will not thrive, yet merely survive. Although there are few people that live at the end of the world alone and are happy with it, most of us need to live surrounded by people. And not just any people. People who enrich our lives, make us grow, make us think and support us in hard times.

5. Find Your Fulfillment

It’s harder to feel in charge when you do things you hate, or at least the things you don’t like. When somebody else is in control of your time, not you. When you do what is required of you not what you want to do. One part of living a charged life is living a fulfilled life. A life on your terms. A life that’s in harmony with your calling. A life that’s worth living and makes sense to you.

To be in charge doesn’t mean to be in control. You can rarely be in control of your life. Yes, you can have some parts of your life under control, but you won’t have influence over external factors like weather, other people’s mood, amount of work you are given at the office, traffic in the streets etc.

So don’t interchange a charged life for a controlled life. They are not the same. Living a charged life means having the ability to control the internal processes. Having the ability to feel happy and free despite the traffic and the weather and the other stuff.

Now, it’s your time. What is the first step you can take NOW towards living a charged life? Or do you live a charged life already?

Should You Strive for Fulfillment or Happiness?

By |2018-06-25T07:47:35+00:00June 26th, 2018|Self-Acceptance|

Might be a trivial question to some. Not so easy to others. Fulfillment or happiness? And what’s the difference?

So, if you have to choose what would you choose – happiness or fulfillment? Or success? It is very popular now to run back and forth to look for happiness. Because we tend to think: I’m not happy = my life sucks. I’m happy = my life is awesome. Want to have an awesome life? Be happy. And we do all the possible and impossible to become happy. Yet again, it’s not so easy.

I wondered what the dictionary says. Sometimes, it is enough to have a look there and it’s all much clearer.

Definition of Happiness

  • the state of being happy (or as so says the dictionary), so what is happy then?

Definition of Being Happy

  • expressing happiness (well that didn’t work out as I planned)
  • favored by luck or fortune (that’s it? that’s all the humans are looking and fighting for?)
  • enjoying or characterized by well-being and contentment
  • notably fitting, effective or well adapted

Woohoo! I don’t like it, do you? Such a big fuss about happiness and it’s being effective? Or favored by luck or fortune? Come on! So what is fulfillment then?

Definition of Fulfillment

  • the achievement of something designed, promised or predicted
  • the meeting of a requirement, condition or need

And to have it complete – what does the dictionary say about success?

Definition of Success

  • an accomplishment of an aim or purpose
  • the fact of getting or achieving wealth, respect or fame
  • the correct or desired result of an attempt

I tell my clients that it is not success nor happiness they should strive for, it’s fulfillment. Yet, lately, I started to think that if you have your goals set correctly you achieve all at the same time – success, happiness, and fulfillment.

However, only fulfillment can be long-term. If you volunteer for educating kids from poor families you might feel successful only when you teach them something new successfully, happy when you laugh with them, but you can feel fulfilled all the way through the good AND the bad days.

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