It was gut-wrenching. She had to think I was crazy. And that was a sick feeling. I hate being judged by others. Because they don’t know me. They don’t know what is going on inside my head and inside my house.
I just emailed her I cried. I was all out. I told her everything. I can’t sleep. I was waiting for the door desperately. I have to use earplugs. I go to bed 2 hours earlier than my boyfriend, which is inconvenient because he wakes me up. And I wake him up in the morning. I wanted that damn door so bad.
However, they didn’t deliver it. After 11 weeks of waiting, our bedroom was without a door. And she judged me. For telling her that I cried. For telling her that I want some money back because they didn’t deliver on time. Even though, I said I don’t want to be too demanding. I wrote the email friendly and explained the situation.
She replied: I will do the maximum to get you the door as soon as possible. But, you know I can’t do anything.
I read: Go f*ck yourself, crazy girl. I’m not doing anything for you.
No apologized made, no reference to money back. I felt her disagreement with my open email.
Am I being weird? Am I being judged for asking for what I am supposed to get anyway?
I hate being judged by others. And it happens often. I give my heart to the conversation and I face a cold denial. Often left with mixed feelings that I was judged for being too open.
Has it ever happened to you?
Being judged by others can trigger many negative feelings such as anger, frustration, sadness, self-doubt, hurt or fear.
The trick is that you can’t change others. They won’t stop judging you. You must change your perception of their judgments.
1. Take the Bird’s Eye View
When we are right in the middle of something we tend to take it too seriously and overreact. Look at things from a perspective. Does it matter for your life what they think or say? And if so, will it matter in a couple of years? I doubt it.
2. Don’t Convince Anybody
They can say or do whatever they like. And so can you. If what they say or think is not the truth, let it be. Remind yourself of the truth, don’t try to change their truth it’s not your job. If it hurts you simply go away. Detach from the situation.
3. Stop Judging Yourself
When you feel insecure about something people will notice and they will ask questions. And if you answer: I don’t know. it might be a stupid idea. I’m quite not sure. it invokes that you judge yourself and allow people around you to be judgmental as well. And believe me, they will. So don’t give them the space to judge you. Be sure about what you do.
When you stand straight and tall and you give a clear explanation of what you want or don’t want. What you do or don’t do. Feeling good about it at the same time. It’s a sign for other people to jerk of and don’t challenge it.
4. The Only Opinion That Matters Is Yours
In relation to the previous point, please, remember that you don’t need anybody’s approval. Even if other people still judge you, it doesn’t hurt you, because you already feel secure and sure about your thing, your opinion, and your positions.
So who are they to tell you better? Who’s opinion is the most important in your life?
Yours. Of course.
If none of the above helps just forgive the people who judged you. We are all humans. We have bad days. We envy, we judge, we think we know better. And it’s OK because it’s all part of being human. Don’t you judge sometimes, as well?
You will feel lighter and happier when you forgive the judges. Don’t do it for them, do it for yourself.
What’s your worst experience of being judged? And how did you handle it?